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Frequently asked questions concerning massages, tantra, bondage, BDSM

 

Practical stuff

Contentual stuff

Contentual stuff

Practical stuff

1. Where do I find you?

I have my private studio in a quiet side street in Neukölln (near U-Bahn Leinestraße). Here you’ll find pictures of the space. You will get the exact address at the time of making an appointment. Get in Contact with me.

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2. Do I have to bring anything for the session?

I’ve got everything we need for the session in my practice (oils, scarfs, rope, toys). If there’s something you’d like to bring or try out, you’re welcome to do so. But please let me know in advance, at the time of registration, so we can talk about everything.

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3. Can I take a shower at your studio?

You’re welcome to have a shower at my studio before and after the session. Towels and personal care items are taken care of as well.

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4. Who are your clients? Do you treat men and women?

Yes, and everything in between. I’m welcoming men, women, humans who are not fully identifying as either or people who are in between sexes. Nevertheless, you need to be over 18 years old.

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5. Do you also treat people with disabilities and physical limitations?

I am also gladly welcoming handicapped people. However, my studio is on the 4th floor and is not accessible for people with disabilities. If you would like to book a session anyways, contact me, I do make house calls in these exceptional cases.

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Contentual Stuff

1. Can I become active during a session? Am I allowed to touch you?

No. Even though the sessions are very intense body to body experiences, you will receive a lot of me and my body, get to know its movement, its weight and its warmth, I will be taking over the active part. This is a chance for you to savor the quality of receiving fully and totally dive into your world of sensations.

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2. What is Tantra?

Tantra is actually a philosophy and a spiritual ideology from India with a tradition of more than 1500 years, having its roots in Hinduism and Buddhism. What we call Tantra today has got quite little to do with this old tradition. The inflationary use of the term Tantra in Europe today is making it hard to understand and less credible at the same time. Today, it mostly refers to the so-called Neotantra, connected with a whole scene or sub culture. Nevertheless, there’s no need to identify yourself with the scene to enrich your own life with tantric elements.

When I’m speaking about Tantra, I identify myself with the following aspects of this philosophy and practice, also relevant for my work:

  1. The embrace of all that life brings – also the “dark” side
  2. The dismissal of the terms “right” or “wrong” – non-duality.
  3. The recognition of strength and beautyinside of every being and the respect for it.
  4. The fundamental belief that “enlightenment”, fulfillment and happiness in THIS existence are achievable and possible and taking place through our bodies. Utilize your body!
  5. The possibility to create a deeper form of being through full presence and conscious treatment of oneself and others.
  6. The understanding of ecstasy and lust as natural forms of expression of the human being as gates to deeper understanding of oneself.

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3. What is BDSM?

BDMS is short for the terms Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism and refers to an array of interconnected erotic and sexual preferences and practices. The limitation of movement, play with power, submission and devotion as well as the passionate experience of pain are basic elements. The different BDSM practices can being used independently of each other, as some prefer, or in certain combinations. People who like pain may not enjoy submission or humiliation games. Some people love bondage, but have no likings for other BDSM practices. As an example, Japanese bondage (Shibari) is often understood as a form of art, independent from other parts of BDSM.

The main requirement for any BDSM play is the self empowered decision by responsible adults to utilize these techniques. SAFE; SANE; CONSENSUAL – that is the foundation of BDSM.

A main focus in BDSM is first of all the quality and the principles of the single practices, not the quantity or the intensity of the exertion. It’s not about daring or enduring a lot, but doing whatever feels good for oneself. The desired intensity is entirely individual and needs to be discovered carefully in play together. This is the reason why communication is such a crucial part of BDSM.

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4. What isn‘t BDSM?

BDSM…

  • is no violence
  • is no perversion
  • is no sickness
  • doesn’t mean, you have to be the same/ opposite in real life or you’re compensating for something

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5. Why BDSM? Are you a dominatrix?

No. I am no professional dominatrix. I mostly offer elements of BDSM in my work because they offer a special access to certain emotions. They are enabling a new world of experience that can be transforming, opening, changing. I’m not going to meet you in high heels, vinyl and leather and in case you have has BDSM experience, already and you’re having some specific wishes there may be things I can not or do not want to do for you. Nevertheless if you have specific ideas, please talk to me about them beforehand when making the appointment for the session. Generally, we need to know each other a bit better already as a requirement for the realization of such individual wishes.

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6. Isn’t BDSM about a play with power? What is the connection of sexuality and power?

We are often in two minds about power. Power, in a lot of respects is a taboo. Often it seems like the wish to be power and use it – or submit to it – is something bad. This attitude is mostly appropriate in a society where the critical questioning of power relations is a given; and either way it is an important part of its whole concept.

We work on equality with our humanistic anthropology in a democratic society and often we are quick to put freedom on the same level as balanced power relations. Making this effort, it is neglected that power relations exist constantly and everywhere. Leading and following, giving and taking, teaching an learning, - are all related to relationships of power. Power is part of all our everyday social relationships, sometime more, sometimes less obvious. It’s meandering along different axes – sex, age, social status, level of knowledge, beauty – and hence is an organic part of the human togetherness. To neglect the existence completely or to fight is also means not recognizing the positive potential it carries.

Feeling power and utilizing it is nothing unusual and has a lot of positive potential. Dealing with power in a satisfying way requires empathy, intelligence and fine tuning. Accordingly the ability to surrender is a sign of great strength, because it’s a sign of courage and trust.

Naturally, the balance of power is a crucial factor in our private relationships and our sexuality. Thus, a certain relation of power in a relationship can intensify the connection enormously – in a very positive sense for both partners, for the person in charge as well as the person submitting. BDSM practices play with the balance of power in various ways. Yet, if you look closely, the game actually starts a long way before any submission/ humiliation play.

When we don’t have to fear losing our sovereignty and start to play with this phenomenon – preconcerted and consensual – we are able to experience the great power and dynamic inherent in the gradient of power. 
Because of this, we don’t lose the thoughtful and at the same time self empowered being, we usually are or aspire to be.

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7. Tantra and BDSM, how is that supposed to work?

Even if it seems at first that vinyl, leather and shackles don’t go along with incense, sarong and mantra, there are some important parallels between Tantra and BDSM:

  • The ritual handling of sexuality and sexual energy.
  • The focus (on what?) and the increase of attention.
  • The conscious interaction of giving and taking
  • The intensification of experience resulting in ecstasy and the search thereafter.
  • The possibility of new, intense bodily and physical experience, possibly leading to transformation, change and broadening of the horizon.
  • The understanding as sexuality as an innate power, not bound to standardized relationship concepts.