Whoever deals in-depth with human sexuality will not be able to circumvent several realizations: human beings don’t communicate enough about sexuality and trade all sorts of things in bed, including sexual favors, and often feelings are not the first priority; female sexuality throughout history has been, and is still today, suppressed, and often exploited; we live in a world of narrow gender stereotypes that are sad, limiting, and usually give men more freedom to act than women.
I agree with all of that. But how is it possible that such an extensive book ignores all the women* (and men*) who are doing it differently and who are re-writing, appropriating, living that history sideways? Those women* who feel their sex and live it in the midst of all the clichés, norms, and taboos constructed around female sexuality like musclebound SecurityCops?
How does one ignore all the partners of these people who are developing other forms of relating, of communicating, to make relationships and sex into a real experience for everyone? Where are the lesbians in that book anyway, has Ms. Konrad ever heard of people living beyond heterosexual guidelines?
And should we give Ms. Konrad some free tickets for the Berlin Porn Film Festival, so she can broaden her horizon concerning the explicit cinematic oeuvre?
People not being able to think outside their own lived experience is not to be condemned per se, even if it’s a pity. But when writing about books that have a certain claim to the truth, then unfortunately that’s not acceptable.
Those who bring catastrophic book titles into the world that are untrue and offensive need to answer the question: what effect do they wish to bring about? Is “The Governed Sex” a title that leads to freedom and why does it erase the struggles and existence of important people?
I guess that I and the majority of my female* friends, lovers, colleagues, my wild clients and their play partners, porn and pop stars, divas, dominatrices, great women in history who didn’t care how a woman should behave, and therefore led or lead a very happy life, simply don’t exist.
POOF – I will just disappear. I’m only a ghost. Just like all whores should. Disappear off the face of the Earth.
But wait. We will come back. Again and again. In your dreams. In your beds. We speak, we moan with pleasure, we take our orgasms without mercy, we sit on your faces and come right on your flattened noses. We were always around, even if you’re still trying to declare us dead in the 21st century. We are immortal. We are and stay the witches. Burn us if you like. We have magic powers and brew magic potions from our own ejaculate.
Long live the sexually self-determined woman.