We are often in two minds about power. Power, in a lot of respects is a taboo. Often it seems like the wish to be power and use it or submit to it is something bad. This attitude is mostly appropriate in a society where the critical questioning of power relations is a given; and either way it is an important part of its whole concept.
We work on equality with our humanistic anthropology in a democratic society and often we are quick to put freedom on the same level as balanced power relations. Making this effort, it is neglected that power relations exist constantly and everywhere. Leading and following, giving and taking, teaching an learning, – are all related to relationships of power. Power is part of all our everyday social relationships, sometime more, sometimes less obvious. It#s meandering along different axes sex, age, social status, level of knowledge, beauty and hence is an organic part of the human togetherness. To neglect the existence completely or to fight is also means not recognizing the positive potential it carries.
Feeling power and utilizing it is nothing unusual and has a lot of positive potential. Dealing with power in a satisfying way requires empathy, intelligence and fine tuning. Accordingly the ability to surrender is a sign of great strength, because it’s a sign of courage and trust.
Naturally, the balance of power is a crucial factor in our private relationships and our sexuality. Thus, a certain relation of power in a relationship can intensify the connection enormously in a very positive sense for both partners, for the person in charge as well as the person submitting. BDSM practices play with the balance of power in various ways. Yet, if you look closely, the game actually starts a long way before any submission/ humiliation play.
When we don’t have to fear losing our sovereignty and start to play with this phenomenon preconcerted and consensual we are able to experience the great power and dynamic inherent in the gradient of power.
Because of this, we don’t lose the thoughtful and at the same time self empowered being, we usually are or aspire to be.