The following, however, can’t be denied. It’s true, many vaginas lead an undiscovered and unfeeling existence. Not however, and this needs to be said loudly and clearly at this point, only in brothels. “Vacuum cleaner tubes” exist in German marriages, Tinder dates, swinger clubs, bedrooms, and quick fucks in toilets. Just like unfeeling dicks. And those attached to them.
“Not only whores have ‘calluses’. Our societal sexual norm, which we accept without questioning as “sex”, almost doesn’t allow the vagina’s sexual potential to unfold completely.” That’s what Ilan Stephani writes in her book “Lieb und Teuer” – “Dear and Precious” – (at this point, I warmly recommend reading this book, whose brave author dedicates a whole chapter to the subject of how her vagina reacted to her work as a prostitute, and which path that led her on. Just wonderful. Chapter 10, p. 101 ff. Bravo, Ilan <3 !!)
Reclaiming areas of feeling is work. I think so independently of the auspices under which our sex takes place. Paid, unpaid, romantic, monogamous, or promiscuous. Full of love, athletic, hungry, or slow.
I won’t let anyone who wants to patronize me, explain my body to me.
It’s my decision where I locate my self-determination, my dignity, and also my desire, how I practice it, how I learn it, vaginally, clitorally, vulvominously, or dirty as a vacuum cleaner tube for all I care (the abolitionists’ fantasies are remarkable!), it’s my decision. And I would wish for more support, for people of all genders, to have the freedom to learn true sexual self-determination. It’s work, and it will make us sweat, hopefully sweat with pleasure, because it’s also the fight against the legacy of patriarchy.
Prohibition, censorship, and hunting whores is surely not a part of it. Open spaces for speaking, practicing, and touching, are. We need sexual safe spaces, for healing and experimentation, spaces for knowledge and exploration, and simply spaces where we can have the kind of sex and intimacy that we like.
My body explains the world to me. That is its – her – and my basic right.
My body is my business!
Here is some further information:
To clarify some terms:
In an anatomic sense, the female genitals consist of three parts:
– the outer, visible part, the vulva
– the orifice which connects the outer and inner part to each other: the vagina
– the inner, not visible part: the cervix, the uterus, and the ovaries.
(from “Vulva“, by Mithu Melanie Sanyal)