This planet is being set on fire at this very moment by rampant narcissists – so skepticism about narcissism is warranted.
Narcissistic personalities are those who without empathy and ruthlessly follow their interests and remain indifferent to the corpses that pave their way, while they indulge in their own personal arrogance.
Who would want to be like that? Women certainly don’t, because our inner confirmation and reward system runs on care, empathy, public mindedness, satisfying everyone’s needs, and not primarily our own.
But I think beyond its toxic manifestation, narcissism can offer some treasures for people who are provided with less privilege and therefore less self-esteem. For precisely because hybris, self-absorption, the unconditional celebration of oneself is such a taboo for female socialized people, a healthy dose of it can create a lot of movement in the system. The latter sometimes threatens to get rusty in its non-stop obligation to meet external demands.
I have spent my life, since I was a teenager, running the gamut between self-hatred, self-ravaging, strenuous self-embracing, self-gratification, self-acceptance, and relapses. My body, like many female bodies, was a battlefield.
I could provide all the warring parties myself, I didn’t need anyone from the outside to tear me apart. Curse of femininity, internalize everything.